1. Avoid the stressor. We can try to avoid situations that stress us out. If watching certain television
programs causes stress, stop watching them! Spend time with people who help you relax. We can
also look at saying no more often if we do not have the time necessary to complete everything we are
doing.
2. Alter the stressor. Another option in dealing with stress is to try to alter it, if you can’t avoid it.
When changing a situation, you can be more assertive, manage time better, and communicate your
own needs and wants better. For example, Karen can look at the things causing her stress, such as
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her home and school commitments; while she can’t change the workload, she can examine ways to
avoid a heavy workload in the future. If Karen is stressed about the amount of homework she has
and the fact that she needs to clean the house, asking for help from roommates, for example, can
help alter the stressor. Often this involves the ability to communicate well.
3. Adapt to the stressor. If you are unable to avoid or change the stressor, getting comfortable with
the stressor is a way to handle it. Creating your own coping mechanisms for the stress and learning
to handle it can be an effective way to handle the stress. For example, we can try looking at stressful
situations in a positive light, consider how important the stressor is in the long run, and adjust our
standards of perfectionism.
4. Accept the stressor. Some stressors are unavoidable. We all have to go to work and manage our
home life. So, learning to handle the things we cannot change by forgiving, developing tolerances,
and letting going of those things we cannot control is also a way to deal with a stressor. For example,
if your mother-in-law’s yearly visits and criticisms cause stress, obviously you are not able to avoid
or alter the stress, but you can adapt to it and accept it. Since we cannot control another person,
accepting the stressor and finding ways of dealing with it can help minimize some negative effects of
the stress we may experience.